


better late than never

by flailingensues



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, actually everybody is an idiot in love apart from (maybe) amira, david being precious. he is precious, hanna and jonas being idiots in love, matteo and gay panic™, matteo crushing hard on david, the matteo and amira friendship in full force can save galaxies, what if davenzi met in uni/college instead of gymnasium/HS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flailingensues/pseuds/flailingensues
Summary: Matteo is dealing with university life just fine, thank you. He has great friends, he kinda-sorta pays attention in classes, and his grades are far better than they were in high school, at least. There is the tiny matter of his crush/not crush/thing/whatever on the curly-haired boy in one of his lectures, but he'll deal with it. Somehow.
Relationships: Alexander Hardenberg/Mia Amalie Winter, Amira Thalia Mahmood/Muhammed Razzouk, Jonas Augustin/Hanna Jung, Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck), davenzi - Relationship, side:
Comments: 20
Kudos: 183





	1. when in doubt, deny it

**Author's Note:**

> TW: people swear in this fic, mostly matteo because he's matteo  
> Confession: I actually still haven't watched the Druck finale because I am weak and I don't want it to end lmao

Cute-with-Curly-hair laughs from across the room. A few seconds later Matteo realises he’s forgotten to breathe.

That boy. He’s not straight.

Matteo’s  _ sure _ of it.

The again, there’s that little voice in Matteo’s head, the one that keeps jabbering  _ it’s just wishful thinking  _ and _ even if he wasn’t straight, it’s not like he’d be into  _ you _. _

Matteo knows it’s not really his fault. He’s spent years suppressing his sexuality, along with a myriad of other problems. And on a scale of Matteo-thoughts, these were mere mosquitoes. He’s heard a lot worse from himself.

And  _ that  _ thought—that thought would earn him an elbowing from Jonas, wouldn’t it. But it’s not like it’s something that can go away immediately. It’s going to take a lot of work, his therapist says. But Matteo can deal with that. It’s tiring, but not as tiring as the days, the  _ weeks _ where he can’t do anything but try and think about nothing, because nothing was better than any other alternative his messed-up brain would come up with.

Matteo shakes his head and continues to stare at Mr.Cute-and-Curly from across the room. He wishes he had come to the first class, if only just to be able to know what his crush’s real name was. Unfortunately he had dismissed the class as a boring requirement for his minor, and for the first time in his life, he’s disappointed that the teacher doesn’t take attendance.

Ha.  _ Crush _ . So he was doing one of those now? Except it wasn’t really a crush, was it? Matteo just stared at him in class sometimes, is all. Him and his curly hair that was pushed in a slightly different direction every week and his dark eyes and septum piercing and laugh that seemed to light up the room.

Matteo groans and buries his face in his hands. They had barely even  _ talked _ . This was so unfair.

“Matteo? Are you feeling unwell?”

Matteo feels his face burn as the lecturer’s undivided attention is on him, plus the curious gazes of about sixteen people, including the boy who makes his heart do stupid things for no reason.

“I—I feel a bit dizzy,” Matteo blurts out. “I think I’ll have to leave first.”

The lecturer, to her credit, nods sympathetically. Matteo shoves his stuff in his bag and all but runs away.

He’s not fast enough to miss the sight of cute-and-curly’s head tipped to one side as he watches Matteo escape from the back door.

Matteo hasn’t told Jonas about his not-crush. Jonas might try to subtly set them up, or something, and Matteo would not be able to deal with that. Hanna would be ready with hugs and sympathy, but there’s always a possibility that Jonas would find out through her, and again,  _ see above _ . They care about him, but there’s a part of Matteo that wishes they could forget about what he was like in high school, what a mess he was, and that each small step he takes doesn’t have to be met with so much fanfare.

Then he feels slightly guilty about feeling bad about that, since they were nothing but proud and supportive of him, and then he can sense his thoughts spiraling near the edge of the waterfall, so he puts his headphones on and blocks them all out.

He casually mentions it to Amira on their next study date. She raises her eyebrows, but she does not break out into a musical number in the café, which Matteo is endlessly grateful for.

“So you don’t know his name?”

Matteo shakes his head.

“My god, you actual  _ Vollidiot _ .” She twists her paper straw between her fingers. The straw looks sad and soggy, and Matteo can relate. “What’s he look like?”

“You’re so nosy,” Matteo whines, but he complies. “Dark hair. Dark eyes. Nose piercing. Um. Cute? ”

Amira narrows her eyes. “What department is he in?”

Matteo shrugs. “Biology?”

“ _ We’re _ in Biology, Matteo, I would have noticed him by now.” Amira tuts. “You said this was a literature class, right? He could be in humanities for all we know.”

Matteo groans and lets himself flop into his chair.

“Do you want to get to know him or not?”

Matteo shrugs again, face buried in a pillow. Amira must sense something in the gesture, because she puts the straw gently back in her glass and threads her hands together.

“Aren’t you overthinking this?”

Matteo shrugs again. His shoulders are getting a workout today.

If it were Hanna sitting opposite him, she probably would have gotten up and hugged him at this point. Not Amira, however. Amira can talk like she boxes when the situation calls for it. Not for the first time, Matteo’s glad he’s in her corner of the ring.

“I’m going to give you a mission, Matteo. Find out mystery boy’s name. Or  _ at least _ which department he is in. Then we can work on the rest.”

It’s uncomfortably close to  _ doing something _ and to  _ taking things too seriously _ , which means there’s potential to get hurt, _ you’ll get hurt, you should pull away before you get hurt, or worse, hurt someone else _ —but it’s not over the edge yet, and it’s Amira, and Matteo trusts her.

It’s not over the edge yet, and there’s some part of him that feels a little thrill that he hasn’t felt in a long, long time whenever he thinks about  _ possibilities _ . It’s there, the tingling in his fingers, and it hasn’t been engulfed yet by the bad stuff yet. He wonders if it can grow to something bigger and stronger. He hopes it does.

Matteo nods.

Amira, content with his response, gives him a smile and snaps opens her textbook.

***

Two weeks later, Cute-and-curly’s name is called in class and Matteo grasps onto it and doesn’t let go. David.  _ David _ . Wasn’t there something about a David, and a Michelangelo? Or a story with giants, or something? Matteo’d forgotten all the stories his mother used to tell him, when she still had the energy to do so. Either way, his name was David, clever David with the nose ring and the curls and the sparkling eyes.

If things weren’t bad enough for Matteo already, David’s voice is calm and smooth, with just a hint of wryness, even when he’s just been randomly called on by the lecturer. Matteo finds himself actually trying to keep up with the readings just to understand David’s responses better. One class Matteo decides to voice an opinion on film adaptations of horror stories, and he can  _ see _ the surprise in his lecturer’s face because he’s finally opened his mouth to say something that’s not “yeah, I agree” the first time this semester. It’s weird, but it’s not an entirely bad feeling.

It’s not till Amira corners him about a month later that he remembers his mission.

“And you didn’t tell me sooner?” Amira scoffs, but she’s smiling. Matteo grins sheepishly.

Amira shakes her head and grabs his computer before he can react.

“Wait—” Matteo sits dumbstruck as she types in his password. “How do you even know that?”

“I know everything.” She pauses. “Okay, nearly everything. Can you log into your school account for me?”

Matteo frowns, bewildered, but does as he’s told. She clicks into his courses, chooses the only literature class he has, and opens the participants list.

“Isn’t this stalking?” Matteo asks, but Amira just rolls her eyes.

“What is the list for, then? You’re allowed to contact your classmates for study purposes.”

He doesn’t like the way she says  _ study purposes. _

“Wait,” he gasps, as she opens the messaging function. “Please, not now. I’m not—I’m not ready.”

Amira pauses and turns to him. Glances him over.

“Okay,” she says, shrugging. She pushes his computer back towards him.

_ David Schreibner _ , the screen reads. No one uploads photos for their icons on the school system, but David’s uploaded a sketch of a blackbird as his icon. Maybe he drew it.

Just when Matteo thought David had couldn't possibly have any more hidden talents.

Wow, this really couldn’t get much worse, could it?

***

Matteo finds his Instagram profile and it’s all downhill from there. Downhill for Matteo, at least. For him and his emotional stability.

There’s what Matteo presumes is David’s art and sketches, and every photo has been put through an artistic filter. The same thing might risk looking pretentious if it were anyone else, but for David, it just looks authentic, like this is how he truly sees the world.

Then something catches Matteo’s eye and he stops scrolling. 

David, grinning, holding up a flag. Blue, pink, and white. Matteo might not be the most informed member of the LGBT+ community, but he knew enough to recognise the transgender pride flag when he saw one. He stares at it for what is probably an unhealthy amount of time. And then, a photo of a rainbow flag, flying freely against a vivid blue sky.

_ You might have a chance, _ a little voice in his head said.

_ The fuck you do,  _ said another.

***

Matteo swore he wouldn’t slip up. But Jonas catches him looking at David Schreibner’s Instagram profile, and everything just goes downhill from there.

“Dude, I think I know this guy. I see him around the practice rooms, sometimes? He might have something to do with the theater course or something.”

“Cool,” Matteo says, with as much nonchalance as he can manage.

“Yeah. Is he a friend of yours?”

“Uh, a classmate,” Matteo mumbles.

“Cool,” Jonas says, and Matteo smiles awkwardly.

***

“He’s in the Theater and Media course,” Amira announces, apropos of nothing. “Minoring in Art, and English Literature.”

Matteo’s not sure where to start. “He has two minors?” he asks weakly.

Amira raises an eyebrow. “Apparently.”

“Just Biology and English and I’m dying,” Matteo whispers, and he can feel his eyes glaze over. Amira nudges him back to life.

“How the fuck am I supposed to talk to him now?” Matteo asks her.

“I'd suggest you stop worrying and start talking,” Amira says, but she doesn't look all that convinced.

“About what? What the fuck do I know about art?”

Amira shrugs. “Charm him with your inexperience, then.”

He’s about to protest that he  _ has _ experience, but it’s not like he particularly wants to bring up the fact that he dated girls just because he thought he should. “I swear you’re as inexperienced as me,” Matteo mutters. 

Amira looks vaguely shifty, but she won't tell Matteo anything no matter how hard he tries.

To be fair, he doesn’t try very hard. He has a limited source of energy.

“This battle is not over,” Matteo says, threatening her with his spoon. 

“It certainly isn't,” she replies, smirking, and Matteo can't help but feel he's still lost this round.


	2. close encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: implied anxiety attack. Nothing too severe, but if you don't feel comfortable with that for any reason, feel free to skip the part marked with five asterisks (*****) instead of three (***)

"Party," Hanna announces out of nowhere.

"Party," Jonas repeats sagely, nodding. "That curious social event where people get drunk and flop around on each other."

Hanna rolls her eyes at him. "I meant there's a party. This Friday. We should go! I mean, it’s on campus, but the law department does really good parties. Maybe ‘cus they’re stressed all the time?"

"We should go," Jonas says. Ever since he got back together with Hanna, he’s been especially whipped. Matteo’s not sure it’s a good thing per se, but he’s not a relationship expert. Obviously. As one could see from the tatters of his love life (not that it had ever been whole to begin with.) Mostly he’s just glad that they’re happy.

Jonas steals a quick glance at Matteo, as if gauging his reaction. "Luigi, you coming too?"

Matteo shrugs. He had planned to stay at home and play video games by himself. Or finish the lab report he’s been putting off for weeks.

As soon as the thought passes through his mind, he realises how sad it sounds. It seems like he's destined to a life of trying things he's not really good at.

Matteo shrugs. "I could do with a break."

***

"Dude. Let's dance." Jonas presses a beer into Matteo's hands, and that’s a slight problem, because Matteo’s barely finished his first one.

It shows how drunk Jonas is, because 1, Matteo is not going to be able to move until he's finished his beer, and 2, even when he doesn’t have a bottle in his hand, he kinda sucks at dancing. It's more of a vague wiggling, what he does. Maybe a few head bops if he's really feeling the music.

He listens for a few seconds. It's an oddly paced techno song, and the dj is waiting way too long to drop the beat, so it's safe to say that no, he isn't feeling it.

"Go dance with Hanna," Matteo mumbles.

"Nah, dude, I don't wanna leave you alone," Jonas says, which is oddly moving, until he says, "Also, I'm not gonna get between her and Mia once they get going," which is decidedly less so. "I have to wait until Alex drags Mia into a corner to make out, and then that's my turn."

"Won't be long." Matteo eyes Alex Hardenburg, whose sticks his hands impatiently into his pockets, looking more like a delinquent than a student with his grey hoodie and tall and menacing demeanor. Matteo honestly has no idea how Mia is still together with him, but there really is no accounting for taste. And hey, Matteo is wearing a grey hoodie too, so what does that say about him?

Sure enough, Hanna flounces to them not long after.

"Keep that safe for me," he says, passing her his beer.

She accepts it gleefully. "It'll be safe it in my stomach!"

Matteo just waves a hand. "Whatever, your boyfriend bought it anyway."

"I'm the boyfriend!" Matteo hears Jonas call as he slouches over to the dancefloor.

***

Matteo's come out here to dance, but he's not really sure whom to dance with. Mia and Alex are nowhere to be seen, not that he would want to dance with people that are more focused on sucking each other's face off than dancing. Hans has his arms around someone, so Matteo's not gonna try and jump into that volcano either. Amira isn't coming until later.

He turns back, only to nearly bump into a brunette that Matteo has never seen before. "Hi," she shouts over the music. Matteo has to lean in to hear. He thinks that's why they play music so loudly in clubs, so that people can extremely close to other people's necks. Either that or it’s the evil DJs at work, in addition to their rubbish timing, or a conspiracy from vampires roaming the earth—

"I'm Sara," the girl says, right near his face, and god, that's _way_ too close for him.

"Matteo," he manages to squeeze out, along with a smile. He should be proud. He's talking to a stranger, at a party, and he's not panicking (too much) yet.

"What do you study?" he asks, but either the music's too loud or Sara is not interested in talking right now, because she just smiles as she sways to the beat. She keeps bumping into him, and Matteo has never felt more in someone's way than he does right now.

After a few minutes of awkward bumping Matteo excuses himself with a smile and steals back to his original table, which Hanna and Jonas are leaning on with their arms around each other.

Jonas whistles lightly "Back so soon? That chick just now was totally into you, you know."

Matteo frowns. "What?"

Hanna grins. "Matteo. She was flirting. _Please_ tell me you noticed that at least."

Matteo grimaces. "She kept bumping into me."

"I'll let you in on a trade secret because I love you, Luigi," Jonas tilts his bottle to Matteo. "That, is how grinding starts," he whispers dramatically.

Matteo pulls a face, which makes Hanna laugh.

"Oh look," Jonas nods at the dance floor. "There's your classmate."

"Who?" Matteo asks, but he soon spots the familiar figure—David Schreibner.

He’s dancing with a small circle of people. Matteo hadn't thought it possible to look beautiful at a party before, but David. David looks beautiful, with his brightly patterned loose shirt and skinny jeans and gorgeous smile. There’s sweat running down his cheek, which he wipes away carelessly. Someone in his group must have done something that makes him laugh, but Matteo doesn’t notice what, too engrossed in watching David.

And up go Matteo's hopes again.

"You should go dance with him," Hanna says matter-of-factly, and Matteo searches her face for any hint of teasing, but there's none.

"I'm not—" he starts, but Jonas nudges him with more force than he probably intended, and Matteo stumbles out onto the dance floor for the second time that evening.

***

You can do this, Matteo tells himself. How do people dance smoothly into someone else's circle, again? He tries to make it look like he's casually checking out the dance floor instead of making a beeline for David, but he's not sure it really works.

David sees him, and for some reason, his eyes light up.

And. Well. Maybe Matteo isn’t invisible. Maybe David does recognise him after all. Hope is a dangerous thing.

“Hey,” David says, still dancing. Matteo smiles at him, then averts his eyes before his heart jumps out of his chest.

His eyes dart around the group, but thankfully none of them look like they’re going to chase him out of the room anytime soon.

The girl he just met, Sara, is there too, dancing opposite him, but thankfully she just beams at him and continues dancing. The girl next to Sara looks familiar, and he squints at her for a while before pinning her down as Leonie, Jonas’s ex.

He doesn’t recognise anyone else, and it’s kinda weird, dancing in a group of people he doesn’t really know, and Matteo tries his best to keep up. He has no idea how people know what move to do at what time, as if there’s a secret cue or something. He finds himself mainly following David’s movements. David seems to catch on and grins at him before trailing his hands up his torso, mock seductively, and David can hardly copy that, can he.

Matteo can’t keep a straight face ( _hah_ ), and David laughs at his expression. It’s like his body folds into itself slightly, his lips drawn back and his eyes crinkled and it’s fucking beautiful and something shoots through Matteo at the sight of it. Like sunlight, or some poetic shit like that.

“Relax!” David yells. “Just move the way you feel like. Look—”

He jumps up and down to the beat, grinning, his hair bouncing with every movement.

“I’d look stupid,” Matteo says.

“Nobody cares,” David says. “Everyone looks stupid, so nobody does.”

“Very philosophical,” Matteo says, and David elbows him.

Matteo grins at him and moves his feet to the beat. He feels considerately better than before.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” David says, and Matteo suddenly doesn’t mind the loud music, because David is close to him, and they’re actually talking, and the way he can see David’s eyelashes close up is making him dizzy.

“Yeah,” Matteo breathes out. His hand brushes against David’s.

His heart jolts, and he glances towards the group, but somehow David and him have gradually moved further away from them, and everyone else is too absorbed in their own moves to pay them any attention. Matteo feels his body gradually untense.

Slowly, quietly, Matteo guides his hand closer, until his fingertips are lightly resting on David’s palm. He hesitates for a second.

David’s fingers wrap around his.

It's almost too good. It scares him a bit, how much he's affected, and Matteo breathes slowly, like his therapist told him to, and tries to loosen up more. They dance together, and the music fades away till it’s just a beat for them to move to, and Matteo follows it, and follows David.

It feels so different to when Sara danced with him. Matteo can feel every point of contact between them. It’s too much for him to handle, yet at the same time it’s not yet near enough.

He wishes they could stay like this, forever.

There’s a series of wet sounds that Matteo has heard far more times than he would like, and surely enough, there’s a couple in the corner, all over each other.

David glances at them and giggles.

“Do you—Do you want a drink?” Matteo blurts out.

David raises his eyebrows, as if to say _what do you think_ , and just like that, they’re away from the thirsty pair and in front of the bar. David gets two beers and tilts his head to the door. And then they’re out in the cool night. There’s no one else there, apart from a guy who takes one glance at them, steps on his cigarette, and leaves.

Fuck. They’re alone. Matteo wishes he hadn't noticed that. Especially when David is leaning languidly against the wall with his bottle in hand looking like he's a model or something.

"You're David," Matteo says. "You have me in—I mean, we're in the same literature class."

David grins. “Oh, so you have noticed me.”

“What does that mean?”

David shrugs. “I dunno. Every time I look at you in class you’ve been falling asleep with your head up.”

“Hey, that’s a skill.” Matteo nudges him.

“Fuck, don’t make me spill my beer,” David yelps, but he’s grinning, and the playful tone is his voice is addictive.

“I’ve been conscious the last few weeks, okay?” Matteo pouts.

“Yeah, I noticed,” David says, looking directly at him, and it’s not fair, the way that makes Matteo’s heart speed up.

“Um.” He coughs. “So I heard you’re triple-majoring?”

“No!” David’s laugh this time is sharp, like it’s been startled out of him. “I’m not that impressive. No, I have Media and Theatre, then two minors. Art, and English Literature.”

God, Matteo feels like a goblin in comparison to this man.

“So you like, draw and shit?”

David smirks. “Well, I draw. 'And shit' as well, sometimes. I like making films.”

Matteo whistles. “That’s amazing.”

“It’s not really.”

“No, I mean it. Like, I can’t do any of that stuff, so I’m super impressed.”

David laughs. “You haven’t even seen any of my work yet.” 

Matteo decides it’s a great time to stare into his bottle. Huh. It’s brown. Who would’ve thunk.

“What? Have you? Matteo Florenzi, have you been stalking my Instagram?”

“Pshhh. No.” Matteo looks away.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it before David moves closer. “So have you?”

Matteo turns his head, and is met with David’s dark eyes fixed on him.

“Maybe?”

David smiles.

Matteo can feel his face heating up.

“I like your art,” Matteo whispers.

“Thanks.” David’s voice is low and quiet. “I would say I like your insights into adaptation theory, but you hardly express any of them.”

“Fuck you,” Matteo pushes David’s shoulder lightly. His hand ends up staying there.

David hums like he’s considering it, and damn it, that wasn’t a proposal, but Matteo’s stupid face and his stupid, stupid ears won’t cool down.

They’re close, closer than Matteo’s ever felt to another human being, and he can hardly think save for _is this it, is this how it’s gonna happen, I wish he would kiss me, I wish I could kiss him, his lips look soft and his eyes are fucking beautiful and I can feel his breath on my lips—_

“David! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

David steps away from Matteo and Matteo feels a visceral loss. The air is so much colder. He lets himself flop against the wall.

“Oh, Matteo? Sorry, didn’t see you there,” Leonie greets him chirpily.

David glances at Matteo. Matteo stares at his shoes. “We were, um, just chatting.” Matteo’s not even sure who said it.

“Anyway, come back and dance with us!” Leonie grabs David’s wrists and starts to drag him inside unceremoniously.

“I’m going to go,” Matteo starts, but Leonie cuts him off. “Don’t be silly, you come too!”

“Okay,” says Matteo, not feeling okay at all.

*****

David’s good at dancing.

Maybe not objectively. Matteo’s not the best judge of dance moves. But he looks good. He oozes confidence. It looks _fun_ when David dances. And it was fun, dancing with David.

It’s just a little bit hard to watch him twirling Leonie around. And then Leonie twirling him around. And then them hugging and laughing in unison.

Sara sidles up to him.“They’re so cute.”

“Uh, yeah.” Matteo’s voice sounds like dead cardboard, or how he imagines sad, raspy cardboard would sound. Surely someone can see his heart pounding? Like, if they looked at his throat, they’d see it there. It feels like he’s going to vomit it out, bloody and beating, whenever he opens his mouth.

“Are they, like, a thing?” he manages to ask.

“Who knows?” Sara shrugs. “Leonie sure hopes so.”

“Haha, right.” Matteo wants to jump out of a window, but they’re on the first floor.

Sara has other ideas. “Come on, let’s dance. We’ll be way cuter than them,”

 _I doubt that_ , Matteo thinks, but his body is a unresponsive bitch and he just shrugs. “Maybe.”

It’s probably heteronormativity or internalised homophobia or some shit that keeps him from just marching up to Leonie and David and stealing him for a dance, retro style. Or maybe it was the anxiety. Or maybe he was being polite. Gracious.

Matteo nearly snorts. Since when was he ever _gracious_?

And here come the thoughts again. _Hey, leave them alone, they look good together. Better than you ever will with him._

He knows they’re stupid, but thoughts like this have eaten away at him for so many years.

_Who’s gonna love you?_

It’s too much. The dance floor is swimming before him and it’s like he can’t remember to breathe.

“I—need to go,” Matteo says. His voice sounds like it’s underwater. He’s not even sure if anyone can hear him.

And then he gets the fuck out.

***

“Matteo! I want you to meet someone—”

Matteo glances up from his stumbling feet, and though it’s kinda hazy, there’s Amira’s pink headscarf and there’s Amira’s face and then he can’t see her because he’s kind of gripped onto her so he doesn't fall over.

“Sorry,” he breathes.

“Matteo!” Her hands come up to support him.

“Hi,” he says shakily.

“Is there anyone I need to punch for you?”

Matteo shakes his head. "I...wanted to leave while it's still fun," Matteo tells her, even though it stopped being fun a while ago.

“I’ll take you home,” Amira says, because she’s a queen, and only then does Matteo notice the handsome guy standing next to her.

“Sorry,” he says, again, and the guy shakes his head, smiling amiably. He has a head full of curls. Not as floofy as David’s—

_David._

Matteo glances back, but he can’t see him.

“Let’s get you home,” Amira says,

***

“I’m sorry I made you miss the party,” Matteo says.

“It’s fine. Linn made us chocolate pancakes for breakfast. I’d say they’re the ones that missed out, bro.”

“Hey, where are _my_ pancakes?”

Amira smirks and throws him a plastic box. “You can thank Mohammed for that. I was in favour of eating them all.”

“I approve of him already.”

“Of course you would.” Amira shakes her head.

Matteo opens the box, a smile creeping up on his face.

“So. Mohammed, huh?”

Amira blinks. “Yeah?”

“Where’d you meet him?”

“He’s Essam’s friend." She shrugs. “We’d known each other for a while.”

Matteo whistles. “And I only find out about it now?"

"We only figured it out recently, okay?”

Matteo keeps wiggling his eyebrows at her. His face gets tired very quickly, but it’s worth it to witness Amira look like she’s fighting a blush.

“Vollidiot, you don’t deserve those pancakes,” she says, grabbing at them.

“Hey hey hey!” Matteo scrambles to protects his babies. “Pancake violence is not allowed.”

“Well—"

Matteo stuffs them in his mouth. “Too late now,” he mumbles with stuffed cheeks.

“Okay, you win, hamster,” Amira rolls her eyes.

Matteo nods as regally as one can with a mouth stuffed full of pancake. It’s a while before he can talk properly.

“But seriously, I’m happy for you guys. You deserve a great person like that.”

“Oh, Habibi.” Amira’s smile is radiant. Or at least it is until she chucks a pillow at Matteo. It hits him square in the face, not that his reflexes would have allowed for any other outcome.

“You do too, you know," Amira says, suddenly too soft for Matteo to bear.

Matteo’s heart feels like it’s sinking through the floorboards. He fiddles with the pillow cover, focusing on the sensation of soft cloth rubbing between his fingers.

“I messed up the thing with David,” he says. It sounds rough and jagged. And maybe a little bit childish.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Matteo,” Amira says.

Matteo clutches the pillow and doesn’t answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slight downer ending, but i promise it gets better (so, basically every skam hell week ever)


	3. full circle

Matteo expected things to end there. He’d go back to classes and no one would mention a thing, because nothing had happened and nothing would happen. Just a sad one night stand, except it was a one night _nothing_. David surely wouldn’t want to talk to him now, the kid who couldn’t even dance properly.

Perhaps Matteo hadn’t tried hard enough. Perhaps he should have tried to sweep David off his feet or something, but…no. He _hadn’t_ done anything, so there was no use thinking about it now. Best to put everything out of his mind and insta-stalk David and Leonie’s blossoming relationship, or something like that.

So Matteo was absolutely not expecting David to sit next to him in class.

“Hey.”

David’s smile was wry. It felt familiar enough for Matteo to say that he missed it.

“Hey.”

“You left early,”

“I, uh.” Matteo swallows. “I had a thing.”

“A thing?”

There’s a knock on the table. “Matteo, David, if you want to talk in class, at least make sure none of us can hear.”

David sits up straight. “Sorry.”

As soon as the lecturer turns away, he catches Matteo’s eye and smirks. Matteo can’t help but smirk back.

David raises his eyebrows and turns to his notebook. Matteo takes that as a cue to pay attention to their lecturer, or at least to focus on looking like he’s paying attention.

There’s a nudge on his arm, followed by a silent offering of a pen.

There’s a drawing of a curly haired boy, with the words, _hang out after class_?

Matteo raises his eyebrows like he’s considering it, and David pouts and Matteo can’t really keep it up any longer, so he nods. And then puts the paper in his pocket to keep for himself before David can take it back.

David grins. It’s like Matteo’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t, but he doesn’t feel ashamed. It’s something else, something kinder.

He’d planned on giving up, but now Matteo dares to let himself hope again.

***

They both peer at the beverages stacked up in the refrigerator.

“So, technically, you owe me a beer, but I don’t think drinking at noon is the way to go.” David says.

Matteo shrugs. “And here I was hoping to get raging drunk. What a shame. Coffee?”

“Coffee!” David is so loud that a couple of people turn to look at them. Matteo thinks he catches a sympathetic smile or two.

They grab their drinks and Matteo pays, feeling unreasonably happy that he can do so. The school cafe is bustling with people and the seamless chatter echoing off the walls is a warning sign enough, so they look at each other and turn to go outside. Matteo picks a patch of shade and lays down his jacket with a gentlemanly flourish. David rolls his eyes but he sits down, and for once in his life Matteo is glad that he forgot to do his laundry.

And then Matteo had to start with the dumbest question ever.

“So do you and Leonie hang out a lot?”

“Leonie?” David says, baffled. “Well, sometimes, yeah.”

“Okay.” Matteo pokes at his lid. “Cool.”

“I mean, yeah, she’s a friend.” 

“Okay,” Matteo says, heart rate considerably faster than it was a few seconds ago. 

David smiles at him, like Matteo hadn’t just been an awkward idiot.

_Friend_. He still had a chance.

_No you don’t, he wouldn’t—_

_Fuck you,_ Matteo says to the voice in his head. It actually shuts up for once.

An idea occurs to him. It’s scary, but somehow it feels like the right thing to do. 

_And how are you going to get close to him if you don’t actually get close?_

“David,” he asks, throat tight all of a sudden. “How did you know you were...weren’t straight?”

David blinks. It’s enough to make Matteo reconsider the whole thing. 

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me,” he mumbles.

David shakes his head and smiles. “No, it’s good. I wanted to talk about this.” He glances around. Till now, Matteo had failed to notice the sheer number of straight couples sitting outside and enjoying the sun.

David grabs his coffee. “...Maybe somewhere else?” 

Matteo grins, and they get out of there.

***

They’re sprawled out on Matteo’s bed in his room in the shared apartment, Matteo content to just listen to David talk as he plays with the hem of his shirt. For the first time in a while, Matteo is relaxed, even as his heart is beating a bit faster than usual.

“School was fucking awful,” David says, and Matteo hums in agreement. “There were some people who were complete jerks about me being trans. As if it had anything to do with them. I had to change schools.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t fun. Thank god Laura was there.”

Matteo pinches the fabric. “Your ex?” 

David snorts. “My _sister_.”

“Oh. Um. Cool,” Matteo says.

“ _Cool_ ,” David, says, mimicking Matteo’s voice, and Matteo thins his lips in mock displeasure.

David laughs. His fingers caress Matteo's cheek in a comforting gesture.

Matteo thinks of Leonie, and how he thought she might have been a better match for David. 

_Ha_. Not now. They were on to something, him and David.

He listens to the sound of David breathing, calm and even.

“So, uh, when did you…” Matteo's voice falters slightly. He's not quite sure how to ask.

“You mean when did I know?”

“Yeah. Or like, how, I guess.”

David hums, considering. “I mean, I always _knew_ , deep down, I just didn’t know how to articulate it. But I think I was about 13, 14 maybe, when I sat down and googled it. And everything just _clicked_.”

David laughs, breathless, and Matteo laughs along, marveling at the sound of it. He can imagine it, tiny David sitting at his computer, feeling like a weight had lifted off his shoulders while at the same time shouldering another burden entirely.

How was he so _beautiful_?

“What about you then?” David asks him.

“I, um.” Matteo wets his lips, heart pounding. He’s not used to talking about this. At all. “Same, kind of. I guess I’ve known deep down for a few years. I didn’t want to think about it.” 

David nods, eyes bright and focused, giving Matteo his full attention. Matteo has no doubt that he understands.

“I just, pushed it all away. On the back burner. Like, fuck that shit, I ain’t dealing with that right now. Didn’t get to talk about it with anyone for such a long time. My mum being super religious didn’t help either.” He pauses.

“Does she know?” David asks gently.

Matteo nods. “And here’s the stupid thing. I told her and she said she loved me either way. Like, what was I even doing all those years? Such a waste of time.”

“But you didn’t know how she was going to react,” David says.

“Yeah. But it still felt like I _wasted_ so much time. I could have been happy. Could’ve, I dunno, talked more.” He thinks of that girl in high school, who he had kissed so she wouldn’t ask him questions, so she wouldn’t notice that he actually didn’t want to kiss her. “Hurt less people. Got a boyfriend, maybe.” Matteo glances at David. He’s frowning. His eyes are bright. He’s so, so, beautiful.

“These things take time,” David says.

They lie in silence for a few seconds.

“It’s better now,” Matteo shrugs. “Like, it’s cheesy as shit, but it is. Uni is good. I told my old friends and they were good with it. I met new friends.” He’ll have to introduce David properly to Jonas and Hanna and the others, and yes, Amira. Hans would tease them, maybe, but it would be worth it. Anyway, it might be nice to let him go all mother hen again.

“And I met you,” Matteo says. His heart jumps as soon as the words leave his mouth.

David doesn’t say anything, but fingers creep up and curl around his.

When Matteo turns his head, David is smiling.

“Nice to meet you too, nerd.”

* * *

It’s a month later when Matteo finally brings over the famous David Schreibner to one of the groups meet-ups. (Which totally _hadn’t_ been arranged especially for this purpose, except it totally _had_.)

It wasn’t a _pure_ first meeting. Jonas had run into the two eating in the cafeteria and after the slightest raise of an eyebrow (slight for Jonas, at least) he’d sat down with them. Jonas had even shaken David’s hand as he introduced himself. Matteo wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Hanna loved David, of course, which was inevitable.

Amira had, of course, bullied Matteo into bringing David along to a study session, where Matteo had witnessed their discussion about evolution theory escalate into planning a short video about alien wars that was, according to them, a metaphor for discrimination. Matteo had no idea how, but he was going to play the main character in a mask, apparently. David and Amira probably texted more that David and Matteo did at this point, which was a crime, but Matteo made up for quantity in quality, he hoped.

As for the others, they had at least heard all about David from Matteo, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a surprise. And Matteo was confident. Practically everyone David met loved him.

What Matteo does find weird is how everyone assumed he and David were going out (which, okay, was true, but he hadn’t told them that. It was rude to assume, people.)

Matteo stops with his hand on the door knob. He can already hear people yelling.

“You ready to meet my idiot friends?”

“Pretty sure they’re not idiots, but yes.”

“Oh, trust me, they are. Even more idiot than you.”

“I think you mean idiot _ic_.”

“You nerd.”

David grins and rolls his eyes and Matteo kisses him, quick and chaste and grounding.

"You're the nerd," David says, grins, and slips through the door before Matteo can retaliate.

The cheers from his friends inside the room are deafening.

Matteo smiles and follows his boyfriend inside.

For the first time in a while, he can say that life is pretty good the way it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ended this more or less the same way S3 ended because. Because, you know? Yeah, because.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
